Shauna’s Weblog

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Shauna Lewis

Professor: Harrison

English 101

November  9 2008

What Is I

            When I was first asked this question in english class on the first day, I had no idea what  I truly was or even how to define it.This made me think about my life and who I thought I was. I just finished highschool and was moving five hours away from home to start another long journey here in Indiana by myself. All I could think of is how hard it will be adjusting to something so new, making friends and being on my own no mom and dad around.  I had no idea who I was I just knew where I planned on going and that I had four years to do it. Through my earlier years of school I did not know who I was and that was my biggest downfall.If I knew who I was and what I wanted to do than I would not have gotten caught up with the people that I did.Maybe I would have focused on my education and then I would have made  friends that felt the same way.

            All through my twelve years of education  I hung with the wrong crowd that wasn’t gonna get anywhere in life. I never realized that this is not who I am or what I want to do until college. I must have changed over the summer before freshman year because I came in with a whole new mentality and I loved it. However, now that I pulled myself away from those type of

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people, I did not know who I was anymore. This was the perfect time to find out, I had a clean start where no one knew me and I could be whatever I wanted.

            In class we read an article by Kawai about “What Is I”  and for homework we had to blog about what we thought I represented . This question could not have come at any better time then in my freshman year when I was trying to find myself. The only difficulty was that since I came to find who I was I had no idea what to write. I decided that I would take Kawai’s words and ask myself what does his words make me think about I.

After reading this passage I believe that Kawai is saying that I is not just  you or your physical being its much more than that. He is saying that we are made up of more than just body. We are made up of many other things. I think he is saying that we can have a different body or maybe even different body parts and still be a person. The story actually made me think and put myself in the same situation, What would I be if someone came and took all my body parts away and left me with someone else. I think I would be just as confused as the traveler in the story. When I think of What is I,  I would say that I is me, I am I. But even if i didn’t look the same or have the same body in my mind I would still be me. So I guess that’s where Kawai makes sense, when he says that we are made up of much more.  In the dictionary it really doesn’t say to much other than I being the ninth letter of the alphabet. So how do you know what to believe, I’m guessing certain people have there own definitions like Kawai’s in this passage.

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Being who I am today and reading this  I really can see that I had no idea what I was or even who Shauna was. “I” can be very complicated if you don’t even know who you are as a person. I can’t see a person really understanding the meaning of I unless they know themselves. My professor had a very unusual way for us to understand I better using our five senses. This is the last thing you thought you would be doing in a college english class and I could not find one exlpanation as to why he chose this but it makes sense now.

Vision

            This was the first essay that I wrote and I was so nervous, I’m not a writer and I hate writing  but in this case I needed the grade .In this essay we were to use the concept of vision through our writing in a narrative genre. I wrote about my first time meeting my boyfriends parents and how after meeting everyone I saw Archie(my boyfriend) in another way. Observing him around other people who made him happy and loved him almost like I did made me very uncomfortable. I felt as if I did not belong in his world it was already perfect without me.

He looked as if he had no other care in the world, like he didn’t need anything else in the world. This made me feel as if I didn’t make a difference in his life. What could my love do compared to all the other love? As I watched I started to see myself disappear, turn invisible. I saw that his life was perfect and he didn’t need me and I started to feel miserable. I didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t need me. I wanted him to need my love and my affection. While I sat and vanished I started to think how my life would be without him in it

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After writing this essay I became more confident to write until I got my grade. The confidence that I had was soon replaced by doubt, I did not want to write anything else. Professor Harrison must have seen my face, he told us about the revision process and I felt so relieved. In my revision I had to fix my sentence structure, a few grammatical mistakes and work on staying the same verb tense. Although writing using the concept ofvision is hard it has shown me a lot about myself. I realized that seeing is not always believing and its up to you to know the difference.

Taste

            I think my second essay was my favorite one of them all because I wrote about something that really excites me. I wrote about my favorite food which is candy  and how I would like to create an island for all the candy lovers. It’s a secret getaway where everything is very peaceful and relaxing.This essay was inspired by a taste testing we had in class, our professor told us to bring in some of our favorite foods for others to try.  I had been looking forward to this day and I could not wait to see what everyone brought. My partner gave me this revolting combination of  sweet, sour and chewy. It was the worst thing I’ve ever tasted and things that should not have been mixed together. It made my tastebuds scream for help, and I realized how important my sense of taste is to me. If I could not taste the things I eat, candy would not be as important to me. Taste effects me more than any other sense because it satisfies me, it makes me happy when I’m sad, it attracts me from a distant or from memories its amazing in so many ways.

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As I sat it was like I could smell the food and my mouth started to salivate, I wanted to taste it all. Smell contributes grandly to taste. Without smell, wine would still dizzy and lull us, but more captivations would be gone. We often smell something before we taste it, and that’s enough to make us salivate (141). Maybe I was just hungry but I knew by the smell that this food was going to be very delicious. The close relationship of tastes to smell gives the impression that a greater variety of taste exist (“Taste”).

All I wanted was the perfect place where I could have candy all the time and never have to worry about getting cavaties or gaining unessacary weight. A place where people like me could just be ourselves without anyone judging us.

“Thinking about taking a vacation, well you picked one of the best. If you’re a candy lover than this is where you need to be.  It’s a place where all you see is candy, and your job is to taste everything. It’s a very private and peaceful island where everyone is always happy. Come and visit our amazing island, it’s the perfect place for you. As you walk on the colorful sugar sand, you can look up to see pink and blue cotton candy clouds and the bright lemonhead sun shining down on you…. 

            This essay has come along way from my first shitty draft, seeing all the time and effort I put into it needs to be published. I think that candy lovers would love to read something for their enjoyment maybe even dream about visiting a place like this. Writing using the sense of taste was actually very easy for me to do.